I'm flirting with raw food

I do eat reasonably healthy, I do. But I snack like a maniac, and I don't snack on sprouted almonds. So any good I do with all my organic quasi-vegetarian diet, I undo with my daily dose of candy, cookies, chips and coke. (Hm. Notice something? They all start with "C". Therefore food names that start with C must be bad. This is pretty how Science works. n=4 is good enough and I'm all fatigued and I can't think of good foods that start with C)

Anyways, so I decided to dabble with eating raw. I'm off to a slow start (I'm not a cold turkey kinda guy). Breakfast is only fruits and nuts soaked overnight. Plus some flax and dates and honey. The two midmorning snacks are soy-yogurt and more fruit.

No real changes, at least after 4 days. My skin still looks like crap, and I don't have a golden aura around me (I asked). My tinnitus hasn't gone away (I still listen to death metal and industrial music on my Sennheisers, but you'd think...), and my breath still smells like a rodent died in my upper esophagus. Plus on top of all this I'm feeling a bit bloated. My friend told me it was probably because my body was getting rid of toxins, but I caught him snickering as he turned away, so I'm going to discount that opinion. I think it's because of this high-fiber barely-baked multi-sprouted-grain bread that I've started eating.

Of course it could also be that my body is confused, because for lunch and after for the rest of theday its back to the usual artery-annihilating hedonism.

But at least I'm trying...

Update: Yes, yes, Celery, Carrots, Cabbage... yum yum bloody yum.

Also, yes, I know, you have to heat water to make beer... I guess it just means I'll have to super chill my beer to nullify all that heating. And then consume twice as much so I would care less about whether my beverage was raw, and more about whether I can walk home without falling into a ditch.