Hunting Deer on the Versus channel

I don't know if you've seen this channel called Versus. Its the most wannabe-testostroney channel on the teevee machine. I can bet you a six-pack that any time you stop at Versusland while flipping through channels, you will see one of four things: People fishing, people hunting, people fighting, or things exploding. If you're lucky, some combination of all four. I've noticed my male friends watch this channel - they automatically sit up straighter, puff their chest out and make guttaral noises as they watch some fertilizer factory get burnt to a crisp or some thug beating another to a pulp in a ring. It just happens.

One of the things you can see pretty often on Vs. is dudes dresses in camouflage and orange hats shooting deer. There are a couple things I don't understand. One - if you're wearing the orange thing (which I get - you don't want anyone capping your ass), why even bother with the rest of the camouflage gear? What, you think people/animals will look at you and just see a floating orange cap? Dude, once you have that orange thing on, I'm pretty sure you can get away with wearing your gayest powder blue sweater that you bought from Gap, and you'll be just fine.

Second. You know, if you're going to kill an animal can you please stop talking about how pretty it is? The weirdest thing on the show is hunters gushing about "Wow... what a beautiful 8-pointer", or "Oh God, what an absolutely awesome buck", and then SHOOTING A BULLET INTO THE DAMN ANIMAL. Dude, if it's THAT beautiful, why don't you take a photo or something? See, initially, I thought my take on this was because of my vegetarianism or my upbringing or my pocketbook Buddhist philosophy. But no, even if I was born in a family that hunted to put food on the table, I would still say this shit is stupid. If you want venison for dinner, shoot the damn thing, take it home and eat it; I don't care. You can either sing praises of an animal and keep walking, or shut up and shoot an animal. If you're all so much in awe of the animal, let the damn thing live and take out the ugly ones so that other people can admire the awesome ones, man.

I mean, the way I look at it is this - if you were on an island stuck with two women, one who's ugly and the other who's crazy hot, and you HAD to eat one of them to survive, tell me honestly, which on would you kill? Yeah, I know which one you would. Except if you're a hunter that is; in that case, I bet you'd put your stupid orange hat on, breathlessly sing praises of the hot chick's rack in a hushed voice... and then blow her brains out.

Jackasses.

Awesome.



Not so awesome.