The new movie about Darwin - nope, you can't see it

Why, oh why, oh WWWHHHHHYYYYY are we like this????

The Darwin movie (which has been getting pretty good reviews, and from what I gather is more about the man than making the case for a lack of a god/gods), is apparently "too controversial" for audiences in our blessed country of the United States of Am-oh-we-don't-want-to-piss-off-Jesus-and-his-devout-non-evolution-believing-followers-erica. So THEY AREN'T EVEN DISTRIBUTING IT.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THONK, THONK, THONK.... (sound of yogi's head slowly hitting wall)

Here is the clip. It gives me the goosebumps. I'd love to have seen it. Except of course, I can't now because of how the assholes that quail in fright at the thought of Jesus' army picking up their knives and guns and capping their asses for screening a movie that chronicles the life of a dude, who, you know, changed how we think about life. Idiots. And cowards.

The Hangover - shortest movie review ever

Speaking of movies, I caught The Hangover the other day.

DEFINITE WATCH.

Incredibly funny. Except for the stereotypical gay asian dude.

And the fact that you see Zach Galifianakis' dick during the closing credits.

(Actually that's a lie - it's pretty funny too)

The Hurt Locker - quick review

Just came back from watching The Hurt Locker. I had read good reviews about this movie, but I thought it ran the risk of being a CSI type show, except, you know, with a bomb disposal squad, and made for the big screen.

But no, you'd be surprised at how awesome the movie is. It's about the last few weeks of a bomb disposal squad of 3 guys in Bravo company in Iraq in 2004. I've been thinking about what makes this movie so good, but I can't quite put a finger on it. No big names (except a couple neat cameos that I'll let you see for yourself), and it's not like the acting was that great. Also, not that it was visually breathtaking, or that the screenplay was memorable. I am just not quite sure what makes it work, except that I know that I was totally sore from being tensed up and on the edge of my seat for 2 hours. It's not even a crazy adrenaline rush of a movie. Its just taut and tense all along. Great job by Kathryn Bigelow (yep, a chick. Point Break was her too.) directing this flick.

Don't expect a war movie like Platoon or Apocalypse Now; what you'll get instead is a really neat suspense action movie that happens to be set in Iraq.

Definite WATCH.

Star Trek - the Nimoy panegyric ed.

Verdict: Watch.

Even if you're not a trekkie (or perhaps especially if you aren't), this one is worth watching. Prequels are all the rage these days, and its nice to see a job reasonably well done. I somehow never got into Picard and Co. ,and while it is well known that Shatner was one hell of a dickhead on set, the crew (as dysfunctional as they were, and as awful the plot lines sometimes were) somehow made the show fun. And I think this movie does justice to the show, with the special effects on roids, of course.

Where the movie scores BIG time? The cast. Young Kirk is really good. He has a bunch of the little things that Shatner used to do (plus the attitude) totally down. Sylar from Heroes, Zack Quinto, as Spock is really good, but has a bit of an evil aura. Its probably because I've seen him decapitate a bunch of people on Heroes (whatever happened to the show in the end? I lost track), but I was waiting for him to go all evil and cap a bunch of Romulans.

You'd be surprised at how much Leonard Nimoy shows up in the movie (and I had to REALLY control my hands each time he showed up on screen). Great job. Uhura is HOT, McCoy is fantastic, and Chekov and Sulu (Harold from Harold and Kumar - again, was waiting for him to pop out a joint and smoke it in the movie) are good.

The one little disappointment for me was Simon Pegg as Scotty. I mean I LOVE Pegg, (have you seen Hot Fuzz?) but somehow it just didn't gel. Watch out for Winona Ryder in the movie. And Eric Bana :)

Finally, the movie is a little Spock centric, but hey, I'm not complaining. Oh, and don't think too much about the time warp around the black hole thing. Just go with the flow (or in this case, the space-time continuum).

Live Long and Prosper

WATCHMEN

Verdict: Definite watch.



Quick thoughts:

1. Wow, I have never seen such a faithful adaptation of a book. Ever. I usually get disappointed because the transition invariably screws up, but this was bloody good. I love the book, and I have to say that the reviewers who call the movie boring don't know what the hell they're talking about. Perhaps a little *too* faithful to the book, but no complaints from me. The parallel story is missing, obviously (but it makes an appearance in the director's cut apparently).

1a. Zach Snyder is also the director of 300, so I don't really have to tell you about the visuals.

1b. You probably will need to see the movie twice to catch all the little things in it, especially the real characters from history.

2. Jackie Earle Haley as Rorschach is RIDICULOUSLY good.

3. Jon is better endowed in the movie than in the book. Sorry, there's nothing that you can do about it. Speaking of which, I was NOT a fan of that sex scene at all. M-m.

4. Unhappy with Veidt. Without giving too much away, he is portrayed as a villain from scene one. Why? Also unhappy with the music. Jarring/Distracting. Silk Spectre's character - as a bit of a departure from the book, comes across as very strong. She is super hot though. She's Freak show's wife in Harold and Kumar in case you were wondering. And one last thing - some of they key lines in the movie fall flat.

4a. Hm, lot of things that I was unhappy with apparently, for a movie I gave a "must watch"... Well, it was adapted from an iconic comic book story (some people have said that the book is impossible to make into a movie), so you're starting off at an enormous disadvantage. Given that, pretty good job.

5. Matt Yglesias and *maybe* Spencer Ackerman were two rows in front of us.

SlumDog Millionaire. Finally.

Verdict: Watch.

Yeah, I finally got to see the movie, after all this time. You know, I had heard SO much about the movie, I was absolutely SURE I was heading in for a massive let-down. But I was pleasantly surprised - this is a very very good movie. I still think MILK deserved best movie, but no real qualms; this was pretty darn good.

1. Fantastic job acting by those kids - all age groups.
2. Unvarnished shot of Bombay. For those of you haven't been there, this is a pretty close description. Very authentic
3. Great performances by Irfan Khan (especially) and Saurav Shukla, the inspector/constable duo.
4. I like the Bollywood plot-line. Leeetle stereotypical towards the end, but all good.
5. Welcome to the big leagues, Dev Patel. Both he and Freida Pinto (who IS Indian) are pretty, pretty people. (Anil Kapoor? meh...)

Also, great job with the English/Hindi when required. I thought it was pretty well done; there were some times when it jarred, but I guess it can't be perfect in a bilingual movie. None of the cuss-words were translated though :)

One last thing: That kid reminds me of myself. A little.

mostly useless Weekend Update

Hm, so what do you do when you are stuck at work on a weekend? You write short weekend updates during incubations.

1. Movie review

Movie: Benjamin Button.

Verdict: Skip.

Explanation: GREAT cinematography (could/should win the Oscar tonight). But THREE HOURS??? I mean, that's longer than Indian movies man. I was fidgeting by hour two, and honestly, all I could think of when he hit adolescence is when the hell he was going to die. I was sort of hoping some sort of motorbike accident in Tibet (or whichever impoverished country he was doing dishes in).

2a. Book review

Book: Bonk

Verdict: Read.

Explanation: Its about science and sex. Enough said. (can't resist one small addendum: its funnier and raunchier than you'd expect)

2b. Book: Naked

Verdict: Read.

Explanation: Its by David Sedaris about David Sedaris. Really funny. But a couple of people have said that some of my writing reminds them of Sedaris, so this really could be self-fellation and nothing more.

The worst movie I have seen. WOW

Have you heard of the movie "8 seconds"? You haven't?

Lucky you.

So I come home today after a 12 hour day, and I notice my roommate and his girlfriend are watching this cowboy movie. I can tell from the hair and the jeans (too tight around the crotch for men, worn at nipple height for the women) that the movie's been made in the 90s.

I don't know why I decided to watch the movie, but I did. I think I was just too tired to pull myself off of the couch. And so for the next hour-and-a-half, I subjected myself to the worst moviemaking I have experienced in my life. The exquisite lack of depth of characters, incredibly artless editing, painfully stone-faced acting, extraordinarily vapid screenplay and generally godawful directing make this movie a must watch for masochists. Actually, towards the end, I continued watching only to see how bad the show could get. It didn't disappoint. I would rather have my teeth pulled out without anesthetic and have my eyeballs gouged out with soup ladles simultaneously than see any part of this movie ever again. I honestly think I'll have an epileptic fit if I happen to see this movie for the second or so that a channel stays on when you're surfing.

The movie is about a cowboy who wins a lot of rodeo championships and then gets gored to death by a bull. His friend then rides some other bull for more than 8 seconds in his buddy's memory.

End of story. Did that take eight seconds? Hm, maybe the movie makers should've limited the show's length to 8 seconds too. That way the poor dude who did die (Lane Frost) would be spared a bunch of posthumous angst. Back in the day, these guys had no protective vest, no helmets, nothing. Just balls. And Lane Frost was one of those guys. Got to give respect where it's due. But by making Luke Perry (blech...), Carrie Snodgress (whuh...?) and STEPHEN BALDWIN (What were they THINKING?!?!?!?) the main characters and shooting a really, really, badly made movie, you've done the guy a real disservice.

There are too many awesome nuggets of moviemaking to list, but if I HAD to choose, fast forward to the last 10 minutes, and watch the central scene in the movie, the actual goring incident. Seriously. (A close second comes 3 minutes later, when Baldwin rides his bull)

Movie Review - Waltz with Bashir

Oh dude. DEFINITELY watch.

The movie is about the 1982 invasion of Lebanon by Israel; it is well worth reading a little bit about the history of the first Lebanon war before you see the movie, although it is by no means a must.

The movie is basically about an ex-Israeli soldier trying to recall the events of, and his role in the war; he goes and talks to his friends from the past, people who had been participants in various aspects of the war. The whole movie is shot in documentary style, and flits between the interviews/conversations and dramatizations of the events, either perceived or real, leading up to its riveting, DEVASTATING finale.

First: the movie is animated. Its raw, the way they chose to do their animation; which will be apparent right from the very first scene. Second: watch out for the musical score. It is incredibly good. Also, watch out for the macabre comedy during some of the war scenes. The entire movie is in Hebrew, and you have to work with subtitles. It sags just a wee bit in the middle, but all of that is excusable. The unvarnished portrayal of real events in the war and the responses of soldiers to those events, the way you will see in this movie is something that I don't recall having seen in quite a while...

I am not ashamed to say that I cried so hard at the end, I lost one of my contact lenses. This is one hell of a movie. Just don't expect to feel good at the end.

Movie Review - The Wrestler

Watch.

Unvarnished (and painful to watch) wrestling moves + MILF stripper boobies + a surprisingly poignant performance by Mickey Rourke = An awesome movie.

I knew going in that a movie about a washed up wrestler in the twilight of his career wasn't going to be all daisies and bubbly wine. But Aronofsky (Requiem for a dream) really knows how to spin a pretty emotional tale. Well worth watching, and I think Rourke is going to be taking home some silverware this awards season.

Oh, and Marisa Tomei? Super. Hot.

Movie Review - MILK

Watch.

You know what, this movie is good enough that I have to elaborate. For those of who you don't know the story, Harvey Milk was the first openly gay elected official in the US - a supervisor in District 5 in San Fransisco. The movie follows 8 years of his life, from when he moves from NYC to SF, until the vote on Prop 6 - basically, anyone who was gay or who even supported equal rights for gays, was liable to be fired from the CA school system.

But what the movie really is about is how a marginalized minority gathered around one person and fought a political battle to gain acceptance from society. Its like a docu-drama that is part history lesson (some real clips from back then), part political statement, with the thread of Milk's own personal story running through the movie.

Powerful performance by Sean Penn, but watch out for brilliant acting by Josh Brolin as supervisor Dan White and James Franco as Milk's first boyfriend. The movie is incredibly well done(the way it is shot, you think you're watching a movie made in the period), with no unnecessary vilifying or deifying of any of the characters. Very very real, and a great window into the gay movement back in the day.

If nothing else, just to educate yourself, you SHOULD see this one.

Update: MissLaura has a much better review of the movie.

Movie Reviews

OK, so someone told me that writing movie reviews (I see a few) might be fun.

Gran Torino. Watch.

The Spirit. Skip.

What?