Almond Butter tastes like ass

So, some of you may have already read, I've been trying to eat raw these days. Not all three meals, because I don't have enough discipline and I love cooked food too much to give it up yet. Plus, as my friend reminded me, I am not dying of pancreatic cancer either, so why make it tougher than it needs to be. Its breakfast (fruits, nuts) and lunch (salads - I'll have to start cooking fancy stuff at some point, but my taste buds haven't been protesting yet). Though I have to tell you, the cheese that I had bought - one of the few unpasteurized cheeses available - smelled like a horse's scrotum. It tasted great, but apparently smelled bad enough that somebody who also stores food in the communal fridge at work threw it out. Philistines.

Anyways, today the lady at the local whole foods told me my skin looks good; I must admit I was quite kicked at that. It was probably a result of two weeks of ~60% raw. Or it may have been because I donated some money to the orphan's fund a second before that. Either way, or someone who has constantly been called crater-face, or some equivalent epithet all his life, not too bad. Now if only all those goodies from the sprouts I've been downing could transform the fat in my gut to muscle and magically go to straight to my biceps...


ANYWAY.... the point of this post was to tell you how much Almond Butter tastes like ass. I think the Lord had intended only a few things to be allowed to be made into butter:
1. Milk, and then on second thoughts
2. Peanuts.
Pretty good second thoughts.

And then some dude comes along and says "hey, almonds are nuts too, lets make some butter out of it and sell it for 6.99. And then let's make some butter out of raw organic almonds and price it at 17.99. Surely, there's got to be some jackass out there who will try this expensive condiment without having the slightest freaking idea what to expect."

And sure enough, every once in a while, an idiot like that will show up. In this case, it happened to be Pushupyogi. Man, I tell you, Almond butter does not taste pleasant. Now I'm sure some of you will be all incensed and wave your hands and shake you heads and tell me I don't know what I'm talking about. Well, more power to you. I'm just telling you what my reasonably discerning palette experienced today.

Naked Almond Butter : Ass

Naked Almond Butter + Whole wheat bread : Ass diluted with whole wheat bread

Naked Almond Butter + Ezekiel bread : Ass diluted with sprouts

Naked Almond Butter + Whole wheat bread + Jelly : Sweet Ass diluted with whole wheat bread

Naked Almond Butter + Whole wheat bread + A WHOLE LOAD of Jelly: Palatable snack.

Update: As reader JC rightly points out, the fact that it swims in oil (and you've to churn it up every time) also sucks balls. And yes, I did try adding some sugar and a bit of salt to it. Makes it better, but still, its a lousy way to spend the kind of money that could've bought you a couple beers at happy hour.