Eating pig tongue on a fine Saturday afternoon

Yes, I know, I'm vegetarian. But I also will try anything. So when my buddies told me they were having a pig roast this past weekend, of course I went. I had a great time, what with meeting a bunch of old pals. However, there was no doubt from the start that the evening was all about the pig. There were a few things that I learned pretty quickly, and these I present to you with visual aids.

1. Our pig was named Howard, but all the people kept referring to Howard as "her". Here is Howard. Howard looks somewhat displeased at the turn of events.

2. The probable reason for his ill-tempered disposition: a steel rod going in through his mouth, and out of his rectum.

3. This is what a steel rod will do to your rectum.

4. People attending the event didn't seem too perturbed by Howard's discomfiture. Placement of fruit in the mouth may have helped placate the pig.


And as far as eating the tongue went, well, I have seen Andrew Zimmern eat a bunch of tongue and keep talking about how awesome it was. Um, maybe he was eating finely prepared bovine tongue, or he's got a nut loose somewhere. When I ate Howard's tongue, it honestly felt like I was french-kissing a pig with third degree burns, and then swallowing both our tongues. This was not an enjoyable culinary experience.

Also, given my vegetarian and raw diet, it has taken me more than a day for Howard's tongue to make its way through my system. My duodenum has not taken kindly to it, and is protesting, mostly in the form of flatulence with a distinctly porcine bouquet (heady stuff), all day long.

Verdict: Worth the experience, probably will not repeat.