Weekend Musings

So I went to another little dinner party. What with my wounded condition and graduate school mentality, any offer of attention and free food is accepted gratefully. A few things happened:

1. For some reason, I told them that I was Jewish. Now, ordinary people who pull a little stunt like this would stop after a minute at the most and admit that they were bullshitting. Not me. I ran with it for the ENTIRE evening. Adding little embellishments all the while - we were liberal, but my Rabbi uncle was going to be a little pissed that I was imbibing on the Sabbath during Sukkot, I came from a little community that split from one of the original tribes, and so on. You can get away with murder when you're in the company of polite people, because these people are either incredibly credulous, or too polite to voice reservations with whatever you just pulled out of you ass.

Of course once they read this, they're never going to talk to me again.

I don't why I do this. Honestly. There was another one of those polite parties last month, and I had everyone believe I was born of illegal Mexican immigrants and my name was Jesus (Hey-soos of course); they're going to be pissed too. Again, why you ask. I don't know. But it fills me with a strange suffuse warmth.

2. One day after I write my hate piece about small dogs, I meet one. A miniature poodle. He also smelled like a stable that hadn't been cleaned out in a month. However, this guy was 12 years old and blind as a bat (he actually walked into my leg before I could sneak in a kick to his face). Now that's just too much, even for me. You just can't hate someone that close to death. So I didn't do him any physical harm. I just laughed when he walked into pieces of furniture.

3. I also was talking to the dude that did all the cooking last night. He biked from Maastricht to Brussels in 8 hours, and seemed proud of his long distance cycling abilities. I didn't tell him that I used to bike too, until I read this. (And of course, until I nearly got run over in Baltimore). I'm sure he's blogging today about how everyone believed his long distance biking stories. Or maybe he doesn't lie like I do, and those stories were true.

More Physical issues

Now I have a cold too. Its a viral infection that's making my hips feel like they're going to fall off. What with the 2 grams of antibiotics that I'm having to down everyday on account of the gaping hole in my foot, I also have absolutely no intestinal flora left over. which means that I'm leaking water from multiple orifices, and it ain't purdy. My mum blames an unholy trinity of astrological forces for feeding off of each other's malevolence and putting me through this misery:

1. Saturn for transiting through my 11th, 12th and 1st houses for the ill-health.
2. Sun ruling all my houses for my singledom (she doesn't think me being a jackass has anything to do with it).
3. Scorpio - its that time of the year - for the financial issues (That piddly sum that I chose to put into the stock market? Gone.)

It could be that a star, a planet and carnivorous arthropods are indeed plotting to make my life painful. Or it could be that I should watch where I walk, stop hanging out with sick people, and try to remember to shave when I go out and meet women.